a tOuch of nonSensical bLabberings

For my fellow comrades who may still be wandering aimlessly here (though I seriously doubt it), I am still alive. Just moved on to a more 'serious' abode. Feel free to drop a line at piledhigheranddeeper

i'm feeling

if only that's my real name, hehe..
What Makes You Sexy? by eva71
Sexy Body Part IsYour Feet
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viva's currently.. The current mood of viva at www.imood.com

Female/21-25. Lives in Malaysia/selangor/somewhere remote, speaks English.
This is my blogchalk:
Malaysia, selangor, somewhere remote, English, Female, 21-25.

My so-called resolutions
-to try and exercise
-to eat more veggies
-to visit the dentist every 6 months
-to read the paper everyday (i'm sad)
-to put cooking into practice
-to actually accomplish at least half of the things listed

Puss in Bootss

Memorable Moments

the bitter
the undie story
the haunting
the PPA
the genting trip
the signs
the proposal

If Only This Is True!!

You're Perfect ^^

-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're the kind of chick that can hang out with your boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't care about presents or about going to fancy placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy being around your boyfriend.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
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Friday, June 03, 2005
So how've you been?
I have sooo run out of excuses (as to my lack of updates, that is).. oh heck, just shoot me and get on reading this post *grins*

So what's up with me?

- Am currently nearing the end of my short semester. That means exam's around the corner so I have to buckle up and prepare review notes (see how the teacher's the one buckling up?) and brace myself for marking the exam scripts later.

- Am six-months pregnant but 'maintain slim'. Hehe.. not kidding, I tell you. Even my colleagues think I'm imagining the whole thing! Speaking of which, I'm feeling Junior's kicks (or punches?) ever so often now. They started about two months ago.. but back then I thought I was full of gas. Erk. Anyway, the kicks and turns are good. I know peanuts about child-bearing, but one thing I'm sure of is that, if the baby doesn't kick more than 24 hours, it's time to rush to the hospital!!

- I get cranky when I'm hungry.. but that's also me even before Junior's in the picture. Hehe.
- Hubby and I just bought a property. Well, we just booked the place, to be exact.. will sign the S&P soon.

- Am currently involved in a joint project with NEAC. Don't know what that is? Hehe, don't sweat it. Neither did I before I got this job.

- Both Hubby and my sista are going to further their studies. She's furthering her degree and him doing MBA. At first, I don't understand why he wants to do it when he's already gotten his Masters.. but I guess it's for the purpose of climbing the 'corporate' ladder, literally.

- To be honest, I fear the thought of delivery. I get nightmares.. or perhaps they were just my mind wandering before drifting off to sleep. I hear/read/saw all sorts of delivery stories that's enough to make me weep. I'm a natural chicken when it comes to pain. I can't stand even the sight of blood, let alone imagining them gush down my precious. And inserting huge needles for an IV? Ho-boy.. maybe I'll faint even before anything remotely sharp comes near my veins. But feeling Junior here, it's a bit too late to back out now eh? Hehe. Nahh.. I may be a petrified soul, but this 'lil 'torture' would be something I'll stand. Besides, who has heard of any woman dying in labour nowadays? Touch wood..

Posted at 08:36 am by viva
Other thoughts (5)  

Thursday, March 31, 2005
Of tremors and tight clothes
So you guys felt the tremors a few nights ago? (Yeah, I know this entry is as stale as last month's masak lemak. But who cares, no?)

I was at home, awaken from my early slumber. Around midnight-ish, decided to tune in to 'Queer Eyes'. The guys were hilarious as usual but I must've seen their 'crookedness' to much as I suddenly felt myself slightly slanted. Unexpectedly, I was swaying a bit to my left.. then a bit to my right. I was thinking like, "Whoaa.. Junior's kicking me that much, huh?" But then I caught sight of the water-filter stand next to my tv set and noticed the water in its clear container quavering. This is one weird imagination.. I must really be tired. I squinted to check the waters again. I wanted to get up and see it closer but fearing the earth might just swallow me (yeah, like it couldn't swallow me while I was sitting there on my fat-ass) if I stood, I remained seated. Yup, it really was trembling, swaying left and right. In fact, the whole house was moving, albeit slightly. Should I wake the others? Neah.. I'm too paranoid to stand up, let alone walk the entire hallway.

Then a few minutes later, 'junior' stop kicking, or rather I wasn't swaying anymore. The water stopped moving and all the Queer guys seemed straight. It was only 2-3 minutes but long enough to make me realise how awful the state of our earth is right now (of course I only confirmed it was a tremor resulting from our neighbour's earthquake that following morning). Then it dawned to me, man.. Junior's gonna be born in this end of days huh? Poor kid. Eh, wait a minute, that's my kid I'm talking about! Poor momma too.


In other unrelated news, I can't seem to fit in my kain kurungs anymore. Nor could I fit in my jeans or other pants. I don't look as swelling as other pregnant women but in my birthday suit, I can see my bulge. Hehe. It's pretty amazing knowing that in there, a new life is forming.

I seriously need to start shopping. I keep on wearing the same things to work and that's only because they have rubber bands. Hubby has already bought me this expendable long skirt and one very cool 'kangaroo' pants. These two items are the coolest things I've ever seen, then again, this is my first time pregnant. The 'kangaroo' pants actually has a pouch that expands as my tummy grows bigger in time. Pretty cool, eh? (Yes, one more 'cool' in my sentence, then I'm sad). But it aint so cool (huhu) to my wallet. Never did I realise how expensive maternity wears are. And this doesn't even include Junior's cot, stroller, sling bag, clothes, milk, food, diapers etc. You really need to be financially able. I totally agree with my friends who wait a few years before having a baby.. but since my time came first, though unplanned, I'm embracing it as I go along. Hopefully things won't be too bad.

My next trip to ModernMum is today after work. Hehe. No sen osso, stylo maintain eh? Later guys.

Posted at 08:11 am by viva
Other thoughts (8)  

Thursday, March 10, 2005
The genius
Hey, hey hey!!!

It's me again, after like, how long eh? Er, about two-three weeks? Heh. I really am sluggish and way, waaay too lazy to blog nowadays. Thank god I have an excuse.. though I know it's getting old *grins*

So have you heard about that girl who got 17 straight A1s?? Dude, that's like, taking ALL of my subjects in school (social science) and hubby's pure science stream subjects. I really do wonder how the heck she managed to cram all those stuffs in her schedule, plus the fact that she's a debater, plays badminton (or whatever game she plays), hangs out with her friends, watch reality tv shows.. she even scored A for her 1119. AND she's in a day school. 'Terrer' huh?

That girl's a genius, no doubt about it.. and she sure is crazy too. Hehe. Considering she does it for kicks! According to her interview in last night's news, she said she wanted to set a new record as there had been others sitting for (and scoring) 15-16 subjects in the past years, so she just thought "Hey, why not I do one more, nobody has done 17 aight?". Hehe. Ayoo.. y'know what, at this rate, I have a feeling taking SPM would turn out like the Olympics. Everyone's setting on a newer and more 'gempak' record. But hey, so long as it promotes competition and sets a good example, why not ey??

I reckon more and more parents are getting kiasu by the minute and out pushing their kids left, right and center to tuition and stuffs for next year's 'Olympics'..

Ps. In other unrelated news, I'm wearing Granny undies now since I can't possibly be comfy in my ordinary sexayy undergarments. Hah-ha. Poor hubby..

Posted at 04:27 pm by viva
Other thoughts (8)  

Tuesday, February 22, 2005
First photo
A scene at the clinic two weeks ago..

Doctor: See these layers? Those are your stomach fat.
Me: Eek! Gemuknye! But I don't seem to look fat now..
Doctor: *Avoiding the topic* Below those er, layers, is your uterus. This black area is water..
Me: I seem to have a lot of water in my tummy too.. *about to cringe some more*
Doctor: Yes, but that's a good thing. It's not really water-lah.. The 'water' is actually the amniotic fluid. Your baby will be protected and float in the fluid all throughout your pregnancy.
Me: Amnio what?
Doctor: You know when they say your 'water breaks'?
Me: Uhuh..
Doctor: That means your amniotic fluid ruptures so baby will be on its way soon.
Me: Ah-hah.. *haven't the slightest idea what she's on about, but I'll do my homework*
Doctor: This here is your baby. See? It's moving..
Me: Oh my, why is it twirling like that?
Doctor: That's normal, though I must say it's pretty active..

At this point, hubby was just so excited he held my toes. I think it took him a bit of strength to stop himself from saying 'That's my boy!' knowing that it doesn't have a gender yet.

Me: It's so small!
Doctor: Yes, by now it's just about 26mm. Like an inch..
Me: Hehe.. ayang see that?

Hubby was grinning and nodding, while jotting down something on his pda.

That was my first ultrasound. Doc said since the baby was moving, it already has its own heartbeat. Just seeing the little peanut moved gave me strength to go on with my nausea and sickness. Now I'll be more determined than ever to swallow all those darn vitamins and folic acid the doctor gave me, though they taste horrible and always, always make me wanna throw up.
That night I demanded hubby to tell me what was he working on during our first scan. I know he's pretty busy with work now but can't it wait till we're out of the clinic? He showed me his pda.

Second visit to doc's.
First ultrasound.
Junior is 2.6cm long and is 10 weeks old.


Posted at 05:48 pm by viva
Other thoughts (14)  

Monday, January 31, 2005
So what's new?
Yes, I admit I'm rather slow in sharing my rants nowadays. Thing is guys, (and girls -need to be politically correct here) if I do write something, I'm afraid I'll just drone on and on about my current state of queasiness, of (feeling like) fainting, of my puffy face, of my ever-growing belly (I blame this on my imagination cos it's impossible to have a bulging tummy at this stage, but never argue with a pregnant woman).. and of so many other boring things. Now just because yours truly is like this, it doesn't mean all of you lovely readers (hehe, my 'perasan' richter is higher than ever) must feel pregnant too. So being the understanding person that I am, I have resorted to keeping mum (hah, get it? keeping 'mum'?? Yeah.. not funny) about it.

Yesterday I spent the entire day doing a friend of my hubby's 'hantaran' platform. Hubby showed his colleagues our wedding pictures and this girl seemed interested on my 'hantarans' that she asked my favour to do hers. I absolutely enjoyed doing those stuffs that I agreed almost immediately. But I failed to take into account of my current state which has caused me to be, uh, slightly allergic to the smell of glue or anything remotely funny. Hence, I've only managed to do 3 platforms in the last *wince* week. Yep, am being a total unproductive nincompoop.. and the lady wants it all ready by the 8th. The eighth! I'd be so stressed out if it weren't for my mantra "think happy thoughts" to keep junior intact in there (or is it down there?).

Anyway, as I was busy sticking fabrics together and Hubby was watching the telly, my sister returned and brought home a delicious tart that an aunt made the night before. My growling tummy welcomed her offer that the minute she passed the tupperware to us, I scarfed up a few good slices. As I was about to munch the God-knows-how-many piece, I started to tease my sister, who's known to be the Simba in our otherwise straight-haired family, "Hey, look at this pineapple strips, it looks like your hair, minus the colouring, haha.." But half-way through my laughter, I choked on the realization -What? Pineapple?? I can't eat pineapple!! Panic-stricken, I sat jolted with eyes jutting out you'd think I'm an extra in 'Exorcist'.. Hubby took the remains of those delicious tarts from my fingers and ate them himself.. Sister on the other hand, sprinted to the kitchen, rummaged through the cabinets and decided, at that moment, that gulping loads of water may just do the trick. I knew at the back of my head that it has absolutely nothing to do with anything, but like the complete idiot that I've become, I drank all those liquids so fast I visited the loo for the next hour.

My mom laughed when we told her what happened later that night. She said it was quite fine, so long as they weren't 'young, yellowish pineapples' cos those are the ones which are 'tajam' and miscarry-induced.

Talk about over-acting. Hubby denied he was jumpy at all but we laughed when I reminded him how funny he looked trying to amend things by eating my tart leftovers so fast, as if, they would make my tummy feel better.

Aahh.. we get more paranoid than ever. But it's better to be safe than sorry aight?

Posted at 04:26 pm by viva
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Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Of beating the occasional sickness
Being a woman ain't easy. We strive for perfection since our early days of kindy all the way to school where we had to compete in studies cos all the other girls are just so smart, we fight for good scholarships and good places in universities (I dunno about you guys but in my time, girls had a quota compared to our male counterparts!).. not only that, we work hard to maintain our looks (especially if we weren't born in an already presentable package), we have to get the right figure for ourselves and for our existing or future man (how many of you seen female blogs that don't at least complain about their weights or body sizes once?), we worry about balancing our careers and domestic chores cos to be a good wife, we need to firstly cater our husbands' needs (and mom-in-laws).. and not only that, we get pregnant.

Yes. For the past few weeks I've been discovering other facets of being a female that never in my wildest dreams are possible and knowing that my brain and hormones don't necessarily read the same page, so when they conflict, it's me ending up getting, uh, sickly.

I admit my physical changes, and I'm not talking about any bulging tummy yet, aren't as bad as some other mommies-to-be. Some of my girlfriends have it bad - they suffer from severe morning sicknesses (yeah, I finally get to see what that's all about) that they had to be hospitalized for being dehydrated.

So far I've been lucky. Though I get nauseous at times and when that happens, believe me, no one has ever seen a face so puffy, eyes so red and heard breathing so heavy. I need to immediately stop whatever I'm doing (marking papers, shopping, reading, cooking -yes, I cook now) and sit or lie down before I collapse. Once we were at 1 Utama and having lunch before he meets up with a business associate. I felt so woozy I could throw up on those normally favourite beef bowls of mine. Even the miso soup that I so love appeared weird and tasted funny. Hubby didn't feel like leaving me alone to meet his colleague but I wasn't in any mood to join the meeting either so I rushed him off telling that I'm fine and would be ok on my own where in fact, only God knows how I so wanted to faint.

I slowly finished my meal -even in sickness, it's not good to waste- placed the hot water they gave me into my mineral water bottle and slid out. I walked the longest walk to look for a surau to lie down but the nausea was just too overwhelming I had to think happy thoughts just to keep everything in. As I got more difficult to breathe I knew I had to no time to look for the surau. I needed to sit. Fast. But looking around that Sunday afternoon, every possible sofa or wooden chairs are occupied.

Happy thoughts.. lalalaaa.. ohh, happy thoughts..

My breathing went heavier and my abdomen was so painful that it made me think "Ahh.. so this is what a period cramp feels like." I must've looked almost blue cos several people gave me second glances when I passed them. Then I spotted MBH Bookstore, not the best place to be when you're having a throbbing headache and an-almost bursting tummy, but there were seats there that I quickly splatted myself on the nearest seat I could find. Placing my warm water bottle on my abdomen, I tried to make myself feel better by thinking everything is ok. You know that thing they say about psychology-ing yourself? It actually worked. But it takes time and patience.

As I said, being a woman ain't easy. Guys are spoilt from the womb to the tomb cos we preggers can only eat what our babies tell us (instinctively of course), more so if they are boys cos male fetuses command more of every nutrients. I'm still learning this new experience and it gets hard at times with no hubby around, but I'm not complaining. Think happy thoughts. Even as I type this, I'm controlling my breathing and muching Jacob's high fibre crackers. You know, those crackers that I won't normally glance at even for a second, actually help to ease a bit of my nausea.

Ok.. think I'll go and lie down now for one of those 'attacks' are on its way. Later.

Posted at 04:49 pm by viva
Other thoughts (16)  

Monday, January 17, 2005
The Sticky
"Ayang, what is this melekit stuff? Eeye.." I frowned and in my huduh-beno-punye attempt at being manja, tried to coax him into feeling the sticky substance.

He who had just returned from the loo with his prayer water (wudu' lah) blinked at me, then at the substance, shrugged and said "Donno."

"Ayang, rasa lah, see what it is." I insisted that he joined this sticky encounter but only to have him laugh. 

"Haha.. dowan lah. You know it's sticky, you want me to hold osso. Er, think I'll take your word for it."

And for the next five minutes I tried to wheedle him into having a sticky finger like mine. When he laughed and dogded by saying that he already has his wudu' (just in case it was some other sticky substances -eeuuu), I wiped Sticky with a tissue.

Huh? Why is it chocolate? I sniffed (yeah, I can't get any grosser than that). Smells chocolatey too. He laughed. "La.. tadi kan we ate chocolate ice-cream. Tu you lah eat comot, jatuh merata."


Posted at 04:38 pm by viva
Other thoughts (7)  

Monday, January 10, 2005

Now why am I chuckling for no apparent reason? Remember my less-than-usual vivacious self in this entry? I should've known something was wrong (or right??)

I thought my 'travelling every two weeks to my hubby's place' and 'us literally living out of the suitcase' were the main culprits for my sluggishness. I wasn't feeling all that well last week. In fact, for almost two weeks prior to my post. Had a slight fever on and off, even had a swollen gland (my colleagues suspected that I might be having 'beguk'. But at this age? I thought only kids get mums).

But guess what guys? I'm pregnant! Hehe (now you know why i'm chuckling).. my doc calls me 'bunting pelamin'. Yeah-yeah, minus that embarrasssing bit, it's pretty cool. 

Hubby and I are still in shock. Upon recovering, we're still in shock.. actually, we're quite puzzled at how it happened. Okay, we all know how it happens aight, but given the circumstances that we planned and all - 'all' meaning we don't get to, uh, exercise (heh, pun intended) our marital rights as often as other live-in couples do, it's amazing how junior managed to get through. Talk about having the will to live. 

The odd thing was, we had several premonitions from close friends that we'd get a baby fast. Joking as they were, it seemed kinda spooky now. One of hubby's good, old friend joked a few weeks before our wedding that we'd get a baby quick since he plays football. That's the most ridiculuos thing I've ever heard. Apparently, that said friend also impregnated his wife during their first 'shoots' and considering everyone else who are married on their old footie team were also sharp shooters, guess that's where the illogical 'rationale' came from. Some other friends of mine convincingly told me that I'd be preggers before I could even blink. Huh? We haven't told any these 'psychics' yet but it'd sure be funny to see their reactions.

Whatever the reason is, I'm thankful for this blessing knowing that there are a lot of couples out there who are trying and yet facing quite a hard time. My most difficult revelation would be to my bestfriend Ny who has been trying for almost a year. She did get pregnant for almost a month but just last week, the same week I find out my good news, she had a miscarriage. Surreal huh? I haven't told her yet.. I can't. She's still in sadness and in pain. It would take time for me to share with her this news.

I'm praying to God now that He'll protect me and junior, since I'm alone most of the time. I live with my sister who works shifts so after work it's only me at home. Hubby sees me only on weekends (he feels extremely bad for it) so it's only natural for me to worry, especially when junior gets bigger in time. My parents keep telling me to take care of myself, my diet (cos they know I'm a junkie eater) and I've been showered with so many welcoming tips from other mothers.

So far the 'tips' I got are
- no consuming pineapples, tapai and sugarcane for they have 'tajam' substances
- climb the stairs sloooowly.. yeah, that nearly put me to sleep
- eat small, frequent meals as my digesting system is adjusting itself and am not working as usual
- do everything at a slower pace
- avoid bumpy rides. hmm..

Have you guys heard of any other useful advice? I don't wanna be paranoid or anything but it is my first time and you know the spooky things they say about first-time pregnancies. I just want things to be tolerable and to prepare myself against the worst case scenarios (but am crossing my fingers). Wish me luck, guys.


Posted at 05:32 pm by viva
Other thoughts (15)  

Thursday, January 06, 2005
Guys, I'm addicted to Solitaire. Help.

I blame it all on my hubby who likes to play the darn thing whenever we're stuck at a family reunion (his pulak tu). I never liked the game, mainly because I suck at it. I never once won. But when I saw him play, all engrossed and eager, it sort of sparked my interest. So I started playing bit by bit, and when I won my first game I got all excited and wanted to up my notch a bit my trying to beat his time and score. So we've been doing that for the past few weeks. Yeah, we're a sad couple.

I guess he's sorta regretting letting me in on the short-cuts for I've managed to beat him a few times. Hehe. But knowing my ever competitive hubby, he's all set to break my record.

My latest game was, uh, five minutes ago. 84 seconds and 9007 points. Try beating that sweetie *grin*

p.s But to be a fair sportsman (though you can hardly call playing Solitaire as a sport), I won it unfairly. Playing on the PC is a lot simpler than on the PDA. Nonetheless, winning is bliss.

Posted at 10:26 am by viva
Other thoughts (4)  

Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Life ain't peachy.. but I'll get through it
I am soooo lethargic. I feel weak, my head is killing me and my legs are heavy.. I nearly fell asleep in class. And I wasn't the student.

I guess me travelling every two weeks to my hubby's place and us literally living out of the suitcase is beginning to show its effect on me. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I guess I'm not that strong (physically). I can't even bear this small adventure.. aparaa Viv??

It gets more difficult when friends and relatives ask 'How long will this be?'. Truth is, we don't know. We each have our careers (not that mine is so high-flying, but it pays the bills) and most importantly, we love what we do. Forget my occasional rants on those dysfunctional kids, I love this job! Just as he loves his planes and the mechanics of physics (zzzz.. zzz..). It'd be unfair to ask either of us to change jobs (or places), especially when we just started working -he started work last two Augusts while I just joined the workforce ten months ago. It won't look good on our CVs either.. plus, working outside the Klang Valley? Sorry sweetie, but here's the place to go. Hehe.

I'll be more than happy to sacrifice and be with him but that will take time, when our financial standing is stronger. At the moment, we need to make ends meet and everything is still so shaky. When I start to feel like this (like what? Like this lah, complaining why the hell are we living this way?) I begin to cajole my senses by thinking to myself:

- Do you know how many young couples fight over money? Or the lack of it? This way, I get to buy what I want (without merengek-ing at my hubby) and I'm also able to help out a little, if ever, my dear husband needs it
- Long-distance relationships do have their plusses. For one thing, we argue less and even if we do, we'd wanna make the best out of our weekly meetings for other stuffs (ehem) so arguing? What argument??
- I don't have to stay with my mother-in-law. Haha. She ain't bad, but you can never get too comfortable with your in-laws, can you girls?
- Think of the incoming flows of income.. I do want my own home, right?

Admittedly, there are the cons of such way of living:
- The phone bill is massive. But we've managed to overcome that (a bit) through some saving-cum-family call plans
- It's tiring, but whenever I start to feel all whacked, I do this 'lil sense-cajoling again.
- I miss my husband! Period.

I'm happy with the way things turn out. It's just that our life is not the same as other newly-married couples. I do get moved at times when I see my friends going home after work to their husbands. They get to cook dinner for their significant others (What? Me talking about cooking??).. get to watch tv or just snuggle in front of the telly together.. But life could be worse. Think of all those couples in real trouble. We are so much luckier than them. I do miss him greatly, but this is part of our life right now. We knew it would be like this. We chose this.

So please, dear body.. be strong, will ya?

Posted at 01:42 pm by viva
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